1
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:07,924
Hey, Brock.
2
00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:11,094
You know, I got the house in the divorce
so I could say things like this:
3
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,137
Get out.
4
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,350
Why don't you ask Mrs. H
to talk to Barbra Jean?
5
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,893
She doesn't mind saying
mean things to her.
6
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:19,894
I'm in.
7
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,313
You don't even know
what he's talking about.
8
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:23,231
It doesn't matter.
9
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:25,024
If it's about Barbra Jean and it's mean...
10
00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:26,025
I'm in.
11
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,571
Mr. H wants Barbra Jean
to drop a few pounds.
12
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,905
[gasps] Van!
13
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:33,825
You do not talk about Barbra Jean's weight
behind her back like that.
14
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,702
You just made a joke
about it the other day.
15
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,038
[chuckles] Van, you do not rat me out.
16
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,082
Wait just a second.
Let me get this straight.
17
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,626
You want me to talk to Barbra Jean
about losing some weight?
18
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:44,544
Yeah, would ya?
19
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,755
- Sure.
- Really?
20
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,049
- No!
- Well, why not?
21
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:53,428
Because women don't tell other women
that they need to lose weight.
22
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:54,345
Oh, I'll tell her.
23
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:57,474
What?
24
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,350
Well, I have to talk to Barbra Jean.
25
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:02,437
As an addict,
it's my responsibility to help others.
26
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,732
And in my self-help group,
we got all kinds of addicts.
27
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,568
We got shopping addicts,
gambling addicts, sex addicts--
28
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:09,778
Sex addicts?
29
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:12,155
Well, I'm guessing they're not married.
30
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:19,704
It's good they're getting help though.
31
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,960
Anyway, I think that Barbra Jean
may be eating more
32
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,546
because of all the crazy stuff
you put her through in the past year.
33
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:29,464
[laughs]
34
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:32,342
Once again, everyone else's problems
are my fault.
35
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,551
See, you say it,
36
00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:35,595
but it doesn't sound like you believe it.
37
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,265
Come on, Dad, let's go.
38
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,601
Remember, first names only.
39
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:45,855
Okay, but you'll be gentle, right?
40
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:46,981
Totally.
41
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,527
I know how to talk in a way that's caring
and sensitive to people of girth.
42
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,570
Barbra Jean, you're an addict.
43
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,741
- What?
- You're addicted to food.
44
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,327
You use it to dull the feelings
of emptiness in your life
45
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:01,246
and the disappointment
in your relationships.
46
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,748
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
47
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,291
[sniffing]
48
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,292
Do I smell schnapps?
49
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,840
Okay. I'm just trying to help.
50
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,341
Oh, I know you are, dear,
51
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:16,261
but perhaps you're looking
at me with beer goggles.
52
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,475
Okay, when I called you an, "addict,"
I was trying to help.
53
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,935
Now you're just saying that to be mean.
54
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,895
Cheyenne, I'm sure
she didn't mean anything.
55
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,564
You know, I have been
in my group long enough
56
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,815
to know how to spot an addict,
57
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:31,192
and, believe me, they're everywhere.
58
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:34,154
But the first time that you tell someone
they got a big problem,
59
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,240
it's like,
"Hey, have another shot, boozehound."
60
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,117
I think, honey,
you ought to let me handle this.
61
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,744
You know what, I swear to God,
I'm gonna slug someone one day.
62
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,291
What's goin' on, Brock?
63
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,458
[sighs] Okay.
64
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,752
Look, I'm just gonna say it.
65
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,796
I'm gonna be direct, straightforward.
66
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,548
- Okay, spit it out.
- You gained some weight.
67
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:57,802
Oh.
68
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,014
[laughs] I'm just...
69
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,140
I'm kiddin'.
70
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,975
Hey, we both put on some weight.
71
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,685
You want some wine? I do.
72
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,686
Oh.
73
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,355
Honey.
74
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,524
Honey, you don't have
to get freaked out talkin' about this.
75
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,694
I know I've put on some extra pounds.
76
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,030
I just didn't realize
that it bothered you.
77
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,907
No, it doesn't, "bother me," bother me.
78
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,659
It's just I thought, maybe, I don't know,
maybe it bothered you.
79
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,328
Well, it really doesn't bother me.
80
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:26,122
It would start to bother me
if it, "bothered you," bothered you.
81
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,123
No, I just...
82
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,417
Okay, wait, I'm getting confused.
83
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:32,378
Look, honey, I just want you to be happy.
84
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:33,796
And I...
85
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,966
I think you might be happier
if you lost a little weight maybe.
86
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:39,677
Okay.
87
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:42,972
So you're not upset?
88
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,140
Why would I be upset?
89
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,185
Uh, I don't know.
90
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,317
[theme song playing]
91
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,485
[Reba] Hey, hey.
92
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:58,780
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
93
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,157
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
94
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:05,453
♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
95
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,081
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
96
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,792
♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
97
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,460
♪ With gentle hands ♪
98
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,379
{\an8}♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪
99
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:20,927
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
100
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,895
You guys, I just had the most
personal experience with Brock
101
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,397
that we have ever shared.
102
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:33,898
I hope the curtains were closed.
103
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,819
{\an8}So it worked out well?
104
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,029
{\an8}I'm only asking 'cause I played
such an important role.
105
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,281
{\an8}Oh, I know. I know.
106
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,200
{\an8}And I'm sorry about all those jokes
about you being a big lush.
107
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,660
{\an8}Not a problem.
108
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,870
{\an8}I just know it was the, "carbs," talkin'.
109
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,872
{\an8}[growls, laughs]
110
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,040
{\an8}[laughs] I know.
111
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,250
{\an8}Oh.
112
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:53,793
{\an8}So you're okay with all this?
113
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,545
{\an8}Oh, why wouldn't I be?
114
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,462
{\an8}You know?
115
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,841
{\an8}Why wouldn't any wife be thrilled
116
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:03,344
{\an8}to find out that her husband
thinks she's a big lard-ass?
117
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:05,888
What?
118
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,144
{\an8}He said that?
119
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:12,562
{\an8}[groans]
120
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,688
{\an8}If he had said that to me,
121
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,190
{\an8}I'd have slapped that fake tan
right off his head.
122
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,026
{\an8}No.
123
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,194
{\an8}He didn't say it exactly like that,
124
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,863
{\an8}but it's exactly what he meant.
125
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,699
{\an8}He told me he wants me to lose weight.
126
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,492
{\an8}And you know what?
He's right.
127
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,202
{\an8}What?
128
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,246
{\an8}What do you...
What do you mean?
129
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,539
{\an8}You, you want to lose weight?
130
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,540
{\an8}Yes.
131
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,667
{\an8}I suppose so, you know, it's...
132
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:36,544
{\an8}It's just so hard.
133
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,004
Oh, Barbra Jean,
134
00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:41,716
the key to doing anything like this
is doing it with the support of others.
135
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,092
That's right.
136
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:44,844
There are a ton of groups.
137
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:49,974
I, I didn't mean, "ton."
138
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:55,354
I meant, there are a lot of groups
that you can contact.
139
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:56,522
I'll go get the phone book.
140
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,524
Oh, no, no, no, Mom,
she doesn't need the phone book.
141
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,984
She already knows our number.
142
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,820
Barbra Jean, Mom and I
are gonna do this with you.
143
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,405
Meet Jenny and Craig.
144
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:09,702
Say what?
145
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,871
Oh, come on, you were just
saying the other day
146
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,749
how you wanted to get rid
of a few unwanted pounds. [chuckles]
147
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:17,168
The only unwanted pounds
I wanna get rid of
148
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,461
is sitting over there in that chair.
149
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:24,175
Mom, don't you think going on a diet
will be easier with the help of others?
150
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:25,843
- Oh, I guess.
- Hmm.
151
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:27,804
I always lose my appetite
when she's around.
152
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:28,721
Okay.
153
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,181
That's it.
We're in.
154
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:31,891
Oh, Cheyenne, are you serious?
155
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:32,934
Dead serious.
156
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,393
Okay, we are all partners in this.
157
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,771
You can call or come over 24-7.
158
00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:38,356
24...
159
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:41,692
Say what again?
160
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,737
Oh, my gosh, this is so...
[stammers, grunts]
161
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,030
This is so exciting.
162
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,115
Oh!
163
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,826
We are gonna be together constantly.
164
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,035
You know what, I'm gonna go home,
165
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:53,913
and I'm gonna program you
into the speed dial on my cell phone.
166
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,624
- I will talk to you in two minutes.
- [Cheyenne giggles]
167
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,334
[sighs]
168
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:02,839
Did you just give her permission
to come over to my house 24-7,
169
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,215
day or night?
170
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:08,511
Mom, knowing that support is out there
is crucial at a time like this.
171
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,762
I should know.
172
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,973
That's how I got over
my dependence on alcohol.
173
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,558
Alcohol.
174
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:16,811
Good idea.
175
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,357
Hey, guys, I just had a great idea.
176
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,734
Matching sweat suits.
177
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:24,944
[pops mouth] Yeah.
178
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,197
Alcohol.
179
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,407
And a lot of it.
180
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,668
- [exhales]
- Whoo! Hah!
181
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,628
Man, that was a great idea.
182
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:47,049
You know, walking to lunch
and getting a salad with no dressing.
183
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,385
- Yeah.
- And then walkin' all the way back.
184
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:50,553
You know, whoo!
185
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,888
[laughs]
186
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:55,308
You're in pretty good shape, Barbra Jean.
187
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,101
You practically ran the whole way home.
188
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,811
Yeah, well, I knew
there was real food here.
189
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,689
[laughs]
190
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:02,982
Okay. Let's stay positive.
191
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,567
Now that salad was very filling.
192
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,445
Oh, no, no, that salad was huge, you know.
193
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,448
Did everyone else get
three slices of tangerine in theirs
194
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,408
or was I just lucky, you know? Whoo!
195
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,086
What?
196
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,005
- Jake, have you had lunch yet?
- No.
197
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:29,217
How many times have I told you
that candy can ruin your appetite?
198
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,594
Plenty. My problem is I just won't listen.
199
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:37,475
Jake, you need to learn
to not eat candy without permission.
200
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,061
Okay, now hand it over,
and I will dispose of it properly.
201
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,980
No, no, no, no, no, no.
He's my son, I'll take care of it.
202
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,358
Hey, you know what?
I have willpower. Hand it over, shorty.
203
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,984
No, give it to me.
I know better. I know better.
204
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:49,737
- Give it to me.
- I got it. I got it.
205
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:51,572
It's mine.
206
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,074
I hate it when you guys diet.
207
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,075
No. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake.
208
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:58,829
You know, when he runs,
209
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,415
he kinda looks like
a little chicken, you know?
210
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,969
Thanks for doin' this with me, guys.
211
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,846
I could never succeed
without your support.
212
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:18,015
No problem.
We'll see you at dinnertime.
213
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,767
Oh, Reba, I can't go home.
214
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,769
There's too much temptation there.
215
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,647
Last night I ate a Cheerio
I found in the dryer.
216
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,071
You can do anything
with the support of your friends.
217
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,699
Now go home, Barbra Jean,
you have our support.
218
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,951
You can stay here as long
as you need to, Barbra Jean.
219
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,035
Oh, thanks.
220
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,370
Thanks.
221
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,293
[sputtering]
222
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,508
That looks so good.
223
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,512
It's potpourri.
224
00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,682
- Is it fresh?
- No!
225
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,225
Here. Stop. Stop.
226
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,269
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
227
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:07,481
In five minutes,
if we show some self-control,
228
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,067
we will reward ourselves with a snack.
229
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,778
Half a plum and three cashews.
Until then...
230
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:13,988
no food talk.
231
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,991
- Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
- All right. Yeah.
232
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:18,951
Hello, ladies.
233
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,286
Lookin' skinny.
234
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,123
So how's the diet going?
235
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,333
Oh, it's goin' great.
236
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,585
We walked three miles
for a bowl of lettuce.
237
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:29,545
Oh, we also had a light, healthy lunch.
238
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:30,671
- Really?
- Yeah.
239
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,715
[sniffing]
240
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,884
Because you smell like garlic.
241
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:38,471
No, my salad had, uh, you know,
uh, Italian dressing.
242
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,889
Plus, there was garlic on the pizza.
243
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,349
Van.
244
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,475
You had pizza?
245
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,108
Mushroom and sausage.
246
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,278
- Oh, I want some.
- What?
247
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,821
[grunting]
248
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:57,615
No. Barbra Jean!
249
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,784
I, I had a salad.
I swear.
250
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,744
You had veal piccata
with a side of rotini.
251
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,872
- You can taste that?
- Oh, yeah.
252
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:05,790
What'd you have for dessert?
253
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,708
- [Brock] Oh.
- All right! Cut it out!
254
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,585
Cut it out! Cut it out!
255
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:11,295
Stop this. Stop this.
256
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,213
Wow.
257
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,923
Brock, Van, go brush your teeth...
258
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,383
and chew a pack of gum.
259
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,343
Here, Van, here.
Here, here, here, here.
260
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,969
Take this.
My stomach's starting to rumble.
261
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:22,515
Oh, honey,
I'm really, really proud of you.
262
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,643
You know, when he walks away like that,
263
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,312
he kinda looks like an onion blossom.
264
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:34,068
Come on, guys, this can't be that hard.
265
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:35,820
What are we?
266
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,864
Some desperate hungry animals?
267
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,658
- [timer dings]
- [clamoring]
268
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,160
- [shouts]
- [screams]
269
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,008
[humming]
270
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,771
Someone took my cupcake.
271
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,402
[sniffing]
272
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:23,367
[sniffing]
273
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,912
Mom, that's my cupcake.
274
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,164
Well, you're on a diet.
275
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,498
So are you.
276
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:31,459
So is she.
277
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,054
Fine. I'm just gonna have ice cream.
278
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:45,931
It's over on the table.
279
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,144
Okay, look, I just want you to know
280
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,980
that this is the first time
that I've cheated on our diet.
281
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,857
- I've cheated every night this week.
- [sighs]
282
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,361
Hey, guys, I saw the light on, and I...
283
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,325
Well...
284
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,243
what do we have here?
285
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,078
This is your fault, Cheyenne.
286
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,455
"Come over 24-7."
287
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,664
"Anytime you want."
288
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:18,422
Well, I came over because I found
another Cheerio in the dryer
289
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:21,217
and I needed the support
of my diet buddies.
290
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,886
But, you know, I guess
it's okay if you two cheat
291
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,347
because I'm the only one
who really needs to lose weight, right?
292
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,599
No, I have to, too, and I have.
293
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:29,975
I've lost a pound and a half.
294
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,352
And I've lost two pounds.
295
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,647
[sobs] I've gained four.
296
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,693
And I'm not cheating.
297
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,112
Oh, no, Barbra Jean.
298
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:43,739
You've been working out.
299
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,950
Maybe it's muscle,
that weighs more than fat.
300
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,576
Shut up before I snap you in two.
301
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:48,577
All right.
302
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,829
All right.
Let's all calm down here.
303
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:52,831
Cheyenne, why don't you
go put the ice cream away?
304
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:53,832
Okay.
305
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,056
Okay, Barbra Jean,
I know this is hard, but...
306
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:13,852
In no time at all,
those pounds will just start melting off.
307
00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:15,563
Oh, Reba.
No, they won't.
308
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:19,400
I have tried dieting before,
and I've always exercised.
309
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,319
And my doctor, he says
I'm healthy as a horse...
310
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,154
a Clydesdale.
311
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,076
Well, I think it's time
you found yourself a new doctor.
312
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,619
Oh, I'm on an HMO!
313
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,042
I'm just built differently.
314
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,837
You know, why, why couldn't I have been
built like you two?
315
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:40,838
[scoffs]
316
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,799
Hey, Barbra Jean, a lot of people
have issues with their bodies.
317
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:44,717
Yeah.
318
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,177
Why do you think it's been three years
since I've been to the beach?
319
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,305
Because of your pasty white skin?
320
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,604
No.
321
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,065
Because I don't feel comfortable
in a bathing suit anymore.
322
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,317
Yeah, Barbra Jean.
323
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,612
I got this scaly patch of skin
right here on my elbow.
324
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,324
Well, well, you can't see it now, but...
325
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,617
No, it's totally there.
326
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,536
Yeah, I know.
327
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,288
We all talk about it.
328
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,171
You know what, Reba?
329
00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:25,132
I would kill to look like you.
330
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,176
And you know what, I never will.
331
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:30,888
And all this dieting is doing
is just making me miserable.
332
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,222
- Well, then, stop it.
- Oh, right.
333
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,265
I mean it.
334
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,726
Why be miserable when you don't have to?
335
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:36,936
Because...
336
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,314
I wanna be beautiful.
337
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,565
You are beautiful!
338
00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:43,442
Oh, please, Reba.
339
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:47,738
I look at the television
and the movies and the magazines...
340
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,865
and none of those women look like me
341
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,825
or anyone else that I know.
342
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,161
Well, except for maybe you two.
343
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,080
You two are the freaks.
344
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,334
Oh, Barbra Jean.
345
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,545
You think I look like
I could be in a magazine?
346
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,005
Seriously, like a twig.
347
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,174
Okay, Cheyenne, Cheyenne.
Come here.
348
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,010
Go put some lotion on your scaly patch.
349
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,011
Yeah.
350
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:14,390
Barbra Jean,
351
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:18,894
do you think you're funny,
interesting and genuinely a good person?
352
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:20,229
Yeah.
353
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,188
Well, I do too.
354
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,357
I'm also kind-hearted and well-meaning.
355
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,358
Okay.
356
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:25,651
I'm good with animals,
357
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,444
both live and balloon.
358
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,741
I know how to milk cows and goats,
359
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,410
and I know how to milk a squirrel--
360
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,911
Okay. All right. All right.
361
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,083
Let's just say that you have
a lot of good traits.
362
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,001
Okay?
363
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:45,045
And that should be enough
for you to like yourself.
364
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,131
It doesn't matter
what anybody else thinks.
365
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:50,509
Well, Reba, it matters
what my husband thinks,
366
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:53,846
and my husband
doesn't think that I'm attractive.
367
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,806
You know, that's why we haven't had any...
368
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,349
♪ Bow-chicka-bow-bow ♪
369
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,600
...in the bedroom lately.
370
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:13,949
Okay.
371
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:19,621
I am going to address the issue
of yours and Brock's...
372
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,749
"bow-chicka-bow-bow..."
373
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,752
once.
374
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,088
Then I'm gonna go take a shower,
and we'll never speak of it again.
375
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:34,636
I don't think it's Brock
who doesn't find you attractive.
376
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,221
What do you mean?
377
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,766
Okay, yeah, you've put on a few pounds...
378
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:42,311
but it's not like you were tiny
when you and Brock got together.
379
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,647
I mean, let's face it,
you've always been a handful of woman.
380
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,733
And Brock, God bless him...
381
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,402
couldn't keep his hands off of ya.
382
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,196
Well, it's true.
383
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,822
You know this one time,
we were at the state fair--
384
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:54,907
- Stop.
- Okay.
385
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,494
[sighs]
386
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:02,372
The change is, I don't think
you find yourself attractive.
387
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,336
[sobs] So what do I do?
388
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,091
[sniffling]
389
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:17,846
I think you need to go home,
390
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,891
put on something that makes you feel sexy,
391
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,269
and then let your husband show you
392
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,146
how beautiful you are to him.
393
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,689
[sniffling]
394
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,610
Thank you, Reba.
395
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,946
That couldn't have been easy to say.
396
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:37,449
A lot easier to say than,
"bow-chicka-bow-bow."
397
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,617
[laughs]
398
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,415
And you know what?
I am really grateful.
399
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,627
And tomorrow,
I'm gonna help you with your problem.
400
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,797
I'm gonna get a big umbrella
and some SPF 120,
401
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,216
and you and me, we're goin' to the beach.
402
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,678
[door closes]
403
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,806
Oh, Lord, please let it rain.
404
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:16,822
Hey.
405
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,198
Hey, how was the beach?
406
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:19,867
Oh, it was great.
407
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,411
You know, nothing like a little tan
to make a girl feel pretty.
408
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:23,871
Oh, and, um,
409
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,164
when your Mom comes in...
410
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:26,832
say nothing.
411
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,125
What are you talking about?
412
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,335
Ow.
413
00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:32,254
Ow.
414
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:34,089
Ow.
415
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,216
[sighs]
416
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,718
You okay?
417
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,929
Barbra Jean was supposed to wake me up.
418
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:44,266
Well, I was doin' a sand sculpture of you,
419
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,810
and it's easier to do if you don't move.
420
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,774
Ow. Ow. Ow.
421
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,403
Well, thanks to you, I look ridiculous.
422
00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:59,072
Oh. No, you don't.
423
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:01,617
- Oh.
- Oh, oh, oh. Ow.
424
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,535
- Yeah.
- [groans, sighs]
425
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:06,955
Ooh, look...
426
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,499
you're my little Reba Raccoon. [laughs]
427
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:14,755
[groans]
428
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,049
Okay, you...
That is bad.
429
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,970
Cheyenne, get your Mom
some of your scaly patch lotion. [laughs]
430
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,140
[humming]
431
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,769
- Oh.
- Ow.
432
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:29,853
Oh.
433
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,191
[groaning]
434
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,989
[whimpering]
435
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:44,159
[closing theme music playing]
436
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:14,147
{\an8}Acme! [coughing]